Waiting for the day…
It’s near now, the day my fiancé will finally be with me again, and what am I doing?
Starting to clean my flat but not in a normal way, no, from the deepest places up to what is visible.
Why am I doing it? Simple explanation, I just want to focus on what’s important during his stay and not thinking about stupid cleaning or sorting out or whatever during this precious time. And besides I do this normally every two or three years but nowadays it’s something special. One wardrobe is almost empty for him to store his clothes. Nothing would be more stupid than living out of a suitcase for one month and I want him to have the feeling to be at home and not feeling like a guest. The same for my bathroom which is normally crowded with my bottles and creams and make up, now it’s pure and clean and free space for men’s stuff (which isn’t that much compared to women’s). The living room is as cosy as it could be because it will be wintertime and it’s already getting colder each day. A place to snuggle up in warm light and relax, that’s how I like it and how it always has been but now it becomes a special meaning. We will spend our time here together once again and I can’t wait for the days to pass by until its reality. These weeks will be exciting as we will meet parts of the family, mine and his, so the plan is to drive there at the beginning of his stay so that we end up with lots of time afterwards just for the two of us.
It’s interesting to start something new with the unique feeling of having found the missing piece in life. Sure as adults there have been relationships in the past but if you then found someone where it feels so right just from the very first beginning it’s something special. It’s hard to explain but I already thought I found it and was proven wrong afterwards and now it’s so different. Different in the best meaning as I cannot see one single piece which could separate us. This is something I never had before, the feeling of being completely complete with this man on my side even when it seems for outsiders not that easy – living thousand of miles apart, out of different cultures, that cannot be easy. I can assure you it is! If you love each other as basis and then discover the same humor, the same sense of what life should be like for the two of you, the same opinions about values, family, even the same taste in many things, then you are able to make it. Even if I’m completely stressed and tired after a long working day i just need to hear his voice shortly and calm down because I know that this is more important than anything else. Relationships are precious and not only the one to your wife/husband, boyfriend/girlfriend, partner or fiancé. Life is built on relationships with every kind of human being as these are the people around you who should be there for you whatever life is going to give you. People who bring you down, make you sad, are envying you or putting stones on your way are the wrong ones, this is also something to sort out. I did it a few months ago and that was the right decision. Surround yourself with honest persons! It’s early for me to write all these sentences but I am absolutely doubtless. Which doesn’t mean that we won’t face difficulties but I’m sure we will go towards each other when facing them to find the middle way instead of running apart. No one said life is easy so why should we give up on something we finally found so easily? It will be an absolutely exciting time, my family can’t wait almost like me to meet the new family member and my mom is already caring as if her own son is coming home, asking me every now and then what to cook for the first evening and buying warm bedclothes so that he is not freezing in winter time. And his family will be another adventure for me. He has an uncle in Belgium who moved there a long time ago, also married to a European, and I like to listen to their stories on how they did it. They still seem to be happy together and this is what we want for our future. So you see, there are many things more important than cleaning up and when the most is done before he arrives I just can focus on the main parts in life. Another effect is that I start to sit on my couch more relaxed when I know that I have nothing else to do instead of enjoying quality time. It’s freeing my mind and soul and is giving me a certain kind of serenity.
Not faithless – no, full of faith!